So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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