Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.