dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.