Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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