carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
