You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
