Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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