After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
