He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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