you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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