she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
