so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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