good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
