just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Vodka?
Forever.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
tell me about the fingering
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