Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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