She is in my trunk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
