so explain again why im purple
no
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
