just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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