so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize