I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize