The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
pray to the hookup gods
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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