I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
