i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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