she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
