would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
