and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
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I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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