My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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