Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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