my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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