Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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