im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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