Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
