I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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