Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When did angry sex become our thing?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
