It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
