I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
