About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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