Dual....:-)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
