I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
