You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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