I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
