found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
