What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
