in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize