Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
