FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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