Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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