tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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