id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
