Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
