we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She bit a glass in half.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
