Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
