a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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