i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
