His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
