she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
