So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
