this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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