Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner