There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.