she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.