Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
