I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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