i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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