Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
