just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
