hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
