i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
