shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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