I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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