No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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