yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
