i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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