I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
