she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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