There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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