Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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